Wife says husband’s last name is so awful she can’t give it to her kids. Is she right?
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It’s no secret that when you get married, the biggest thing others will remember you by is your last name. You will be forever tied to that family name, and it can even be something that you don’t necessarily agree with or support. This dilemma is nowhere truer than for one wife who recently said that she can’t bear to give her kids her husband’s last name because it is so awful. But is she right? Let’s take a closer look.
Wife says husband's last name is so awful she can't give it to her kids. Is she right?

Table of Contents

1. ‘A Wife’s Dilemma: To Take or Not to Take Her Husband’s Last Name?

The decision to take on a husband’s surname is one of the earliest and most defining moments of a newlywed’s marriage. It comes with a bundle of expectations, both culturally and from the society. Women are expected to symbolically show their commitment to their spouse, but this doesn’t mean they should forcefully take a new name if they’re not comfortable with it.

There are a few important questions that women should answer for themselves before they take a decision. Here are some of them:

  • Do I want to be seen as a part of my spouse’s family?
  • Do I wish to keep my identity/family identity alive?
  • Do I have a professional identity to protect?

It’s important to realize that even if a woman decides to take her husband’s surname, it doesn’t equate to any loss of her independence or identity. After all, it’s her choice. Over the recent years, more and more couples have started opting for double-barrel surnames, or even hyphenated last names to preserve both the husband’s and the wife’s family name in their marriage. Women have also started being comfortable with creating completely new surnames out of both their and their spouse’s last name as an alternative.

1. 'A Wife's Dilemma: To Take or Not to Take Her Husband's Last Name?

2. Is It Fair to Give Your Kids an Unwanted Last Name?

When it comes to giving children an unwanted last name, it can often create a difficult situation. Parents must try to balance their own wishes, expectations, and desires with the best interests of their children. There are certainly a number of things that need to be considered before a final decision is made.

The first thing to take into account is whether the chosen last name is traditionally associated with one gender or another. For example, a male-dominated or female-only name can be a source of later gender identity issues. This is especially true if the child identifies in a different way than their given name.

  • The second point to consider is the social stigma that may be associated with an unwanted last name. If the name has a less than positive connotation due to previous historical or political context, it’s important to consider if this will impact the child.
  • Finally, it’s worth thinking about how the name change will affect the family dynamic. Will other family members have an opinion on the chosen name? Will it be difficult for a new name to be accepted among extended family and friends?

When it comes to giving children an unwanted last name, it’s not an easy decision. Parents must approach the situation with an open mind, and take into account all of the potential implications for all involved.

3. Balancing Family History and Individual Choice: How to Name Your Kids

Family Roots vs. Modern Choices

When it comes to naming your children, striking a balance between family history and individual choice can be tricky. On the one hand, you want to honor cherished relatives and pay respect to values that have been passed down through generations. On the other, you want to make sure that your children carry a name that fits their personalities and speaks to their individual stories.

So how do you find the right mix? The answer is you can do both. A few easy tips will help you carefully select a name that will reflect your family’s legacy while still respecting your child’s autonomy.

  • Brainstorm names that will incorporate important elements of your family roots, such as a surname, a middle name, or a traditional name .
  • Be open to new ideas, including fanciful names, or alternate spellings and pronunciations.
  • Discuss the different options with your partner and come up with a name that everyone can agree on.
  • Consider consulting your family elders for advice—you may be surprised what unique and timeless names they come up with!

At the end of the day, the name you choose should make your child happy. Whether an eclectic blend of the traditional and modern, or a classic timeless pick, the right name will give your child an identity they will be proud of for many years to come.

4. The Power of Names: Addressing a Husband’s Unappealing Surname

One of the struggles shared by couples is when one partner doesn’t take on the other person’s last name. In some societies, it’s still expected for a wife to take her husband’s name. If it’s not very pleasant or appealing, the couple has to consider some things.

Here are some options to consider:

  • The wife takes part of the husband’s name: For example, if the wife’s last name is Evergreen and the husband’s is Meanie, they can opt to become the Evermeans.
  • The wife tweaks the husband’s spelling a bit: If the husband’s name can be re-spelled or the pronunciation can be altered slightly, the wife can opt to take that option.
  • The couple can combine their last names: For example, if the wife’s name is Brown and the husband’s is White, they can become the Browns or the Whites.

No matter which the couple chooses, the important thing is that they arrive at it together. Allowing for compromise can be a great way to come to terms with this issue. Keeping open dialogue between both parties and creating an easy way to go with either name can help make a decision easier. While the husband’s less-than-appealing surname can cause some stress, it can be worked out for the better.


Q: What has happened to cause this issue?
A: When a wife has an unusually or unattractively-sounding last name, she may feel uncomfortable giving it to her children. This has become a point of contention for some couples as a wife may feel that her husband’s last name is so bad that she can’t name her own children with it.

Q: Are there any situations in which a wife would be justified in not using her husband’s last name?
A: In some cases, yes. If a name has a negative or embarrassing connotation, the wife may feel uncomfortable about giving that name to her children. Issues of safety can also be a factor, as a name which is very common and easily traceable could be a risk factor if the family is faced with a stalker or other types of harassment.

Q: Is it wrong for a wife to not use her husband’s last name?
A: Ultimately, this is a personal choice which is dependent on the couple’s situation. Some couples may have a strong belief that a wife should take on her husband’s name, while others may view it as simply a matter of personal preference. Every couple should make their own decision without feeling pressure from outside sources.


So, when it comes to the issue of whether a wife is justified in refusing to give her children her husband’s last name, the answer is complex. It comes down to the context of the couple’s situation, the importance each person gives to the name, and how they both negotiate a way forward. Ultimately, whatever decision they make together, it’s important to make sure that everyone feels valued and respected.

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